I've Never Started a New Role Feeling Ready

Heather Edwards, CEO Harcourts SA and interim CEO Harcourts WA, on stepping into something that matters.

I've been thinking a bit lately about confidence, and what that word actually means.

People often assume that as you become more experienced, confidence simply grows with you. That once you've led enough people or spent enough years in your career, you eventually stop questioning yourself.

I used to think that would happen too.

I thought there would come a point where I'd walk into a new role and simply know I was ready for it.

Looking back, I don't think that's ever happened.

Every role I've taken on has come with a degree of uncertainty. Not overwhelming uncertainty, but enough to make me stop and think. Am I ready for this? What don't I know yet? How long will it take me to really understand what's in front of me?

What's interesting is that I still ask myself those questions. They haven't disappeared over the years. The difference is that I don't interpret them the way I used to.

Earlier in my career, I probably saw those thoughts as a lack of confidence. Now I think they're something else entirely.

I think they're a sign that I care.

The more responsibility I've been given, the more I've realised that leadership should feel significant. Your decisions affect other people. They affect careers, families and businesses. Why wouldn't you feel the weight of that? I'm not talking about carrying it to the point where it becomes unhealthy, but I do think there's something important about recognising the responsibility that comes with leading others.

In fact, I've found myself becoming a little cautious of absolute certainty.

Some of the best leaders I've worked with over the years have been incredibly capable, but they've also been curious. They asked questions. They listened more than they spoke. They were prepared to change their mind if they realised there was a better way forward.

I don't remember any of them pretending to know everything.

Maybe that's one of the things experience gives you. Not certainty, but the confidence to admit you don't have all the answers.

I don't know whether that's something we learn with age or simply through making enough mistakes to realise none of us ever has leadership completely worked out. Probably a bit of both.

When I look back over my own career, I can see that the roles which stretched me the most are also the ones that taught me the most. At the time, though, it never felt like growth. It just felt uncomfortable. I remember thinking, more than once, that everyone else probably knew what they were doing and I was still trying to work it out.

Now I suspect most people were probably thinking exactly the same thing.

Confidence, I've realised, doesn't arrive before the challenge. It tends to grow quietly afterwards. You make a decision, you learn something, you make another one. Over time you begin to trust yourself, not because you believe you'll always get it right, but because you've learned you'll find a way through when things don't go to plan.

Maybe that's why I've stopped wishing the nerves away.

They're not particularly enjoyable, but they've become familiar. They remind me that I'm stepping into something that matters and that there are people depending on me to do it well. I think I'd be more concerned if I ever took on a significant new role and felt none of that at all.

Looking back, I don't think I've ever been completely ready for any role I've accepted.

But perhaps that was never really the point.