Timing Matters

We’ve all been there. You’re itching to give someone feedback or check in about something important. It’s sitting on your chest, urgent and insistent, and it feels like now is the moment. But is it?

Sometimes in the rush to communicate the moment that suits us isn’t the moment that suits them.

That sentence might seem simple, but it’s a powerful reminder that timing, whether in life or leadership, is everything.

Feedback matters. We all know this, but delivering it at the wrong time can unravel more than it builds. It’s like serving someone the perfect cup of tea when it’s lukewarm. The effort is there, but the moment doesn’t land.

When 'in the moment' might not be the right moment

We’re often told to address issues or give feedback immediately to "keep it real." This is true in some cases, but in others, immediate feedback could fail to achieve its ultimate purpose.

Picture this scenario. Your colleague is wrapping up a critical presentation. You’ve spotted a point they could improve, and you’re thinking of pulling them aside as soon as they step off the stage.

But if they're still feeling the adrenaline or self-consciousness that follows a performance, is it really the right moment?

My advice is to pause and reflect before we speak. Timing isn’t just about propriety. It’s about ensuring your message is received as it’s intended—with care, understanding, and clarity.

How to pick your moments wisely

Good timing doesn’t mean waiting days for the stars to align.

It means being thoughtful, intentional, and recognising when the person you’re communicating with is in the best place to listen, absorb, and respond. Here are some tips to find that sweet spot:

• Ask yourself why this can’t wait

Is it an issue that requires immediate feedback, like a health hazard or an urgent business risk? Or is it something that would benefit from a little space and perspective before it’s discussed? Understanding the ‘why’ can help you decide how quickly to act.

• Read the room

Is the other person stressed, distracted or in a hurry? Are they tired at the end of a long day? If they’re not in the right headspace, your feedback might fall flat, no matter how valuable it is.

• Create intentional space for feedback

Schedule time for these conversations. Whether it’s a one-on-one or a casual coffee chat, setting aside uninterrupted time signals respect and ensures the discussion isn’t rushed.

• Balance emotions

If emotions are high (for either party), it’s often worth waiting. This doesn’t mean bottling things up indefinitely but allowing both sides to approach the conversation with calm rather than heightened emotion.

Feedback done thoughtfully helps everyone grow

When we’re thoughtful about timing, we’re not just respecting someone else’s space and emotions; we’re building trust and fostering an environment where communication thrives.

Feedback given at the wrong moment might do more harm than good—but feedback given with intention can create the opportunity for meaningful growth. Leadership isn’t always about being right; it’s about doing what’s right for the people we lead.

Sometimes, that means taking a breath, waiting, and picking the right moment. Misstep avoided, cup of tea perfectly warm, and everyone in the mood to truly listen.

And that’s something worth the pause, don’t you think?